Mikhaila Piranha-charm

My whole life i’ve reveled in being an only child. I’ve had infinite freedom of time, no one cramped my style and when gift time came…More for me ALWAYS. Many people have told me I’m not a typical only child, which brings me a small sense of joy. Knowing the world doesn’t revolve around you and no one cares about every thing you do and have done, does you well long term because let’s face it - who cares?
Being an only child has its perks but when your parents get sick, the only child is now left to fend for themselves independently. When the inevitable pitfall of sickness takes ahold of your life, the reality check that ensues puts so many unforeseen things under the microscope. Who would have imagined a life where I would have to both emotionally and financially take on the circumstances surrounding my mother? At what point did I surpass the point of being the recipient of care? It now seems that I am the one tasked to dish out the care and attention to the very person tasked to do so for ME. It’s a checkmate of the realest kind.
With my mom falling ill I find myself worrying about making sure her bills are paid, paying her bills, crying myself stupid, fretting about her health, then picking myself off the floor to do it again and again every day. Because the truth is, I’ll always be that scrappy poor girl who knew she had to work harder, longer and better than everyone else to be on their level, or even surpass it. We can’t determine the hand we’re dealt. All we can do is play it well when our turn comes up. Dealing with a sick parent, in some ways is the ultimate illustration of this idea. You’re never quite ready and the world will never care as much as you do.
The fact of the matter is when you’re the only one responsible, you take a bulk of the burden on. You have to be kind to your emotions and check in with yourself to avoid madness.
Every day is a new day and post attack, I see the world in a different light with each passing moment. I feel grateful to still have this time with my mom no matter how hard it may be. All we can aim for in the end is to live a life in love. Be present.
Value your sanity.
Life is a mad road until it ends.
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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.